When you don't give up, and you stand against the world in defiance of what others try to make you do? They usually think Im at least ten years younger. As you grow older sometimes a path no longer feels like an option. Recently, a friend woefully told me that she is terrified we wont be friends after I transition because boys never want to be friends with her. The church is the only institution whose main purpose is to do life together, search for meaning together, celebrate lifes milestones of together, and band together to care for others. With no obstacle to self-expression, how would you live your life? Barring trans kids from scholastic sports is just the beginning. I know that once Millennials and Gen Z become the majority of the electorate things will change. They grieve my passing. Nicole Vickey Pastor nicole@envisioncommunitychurch.org I've always been trans in some way-- the feelings have just evolved over time as I've grown. I know that a lot of times it seems like it would be easier just to give up. Nevertheless, frightened evangelicals got news coverage, while anything positive about transgender people was absent from the pages of the paper. At the encouragement of a friend, I just finished re-reading Bren Browns The Gifts of Imperfection. Over 60 percent of Republicans believe transgender people should have the same civil rights as anyone else. ', Trailblazing '90 Day' Star Gabriel Paboga Shares His Journey to Love Since 'Feeling' His Trans Identity as a Kid, Jazz Jennings' Mom Jeanette on Raising a Trans Teen in Florida: 'We Were Prepared to Fly or Drive Anywhere', 'We're Here' Drag Star Eureka O'Hara Comes Out as Trans: 'I Know Who I Am Without Question', Trans Teens in Texas Worry About Losing Access to Health Care: 'I'm Just as Human as Everyone Else', Drag Queen Who Lost Friends at Club Q and Pulse Tells Anti-LGBTQ Lawmakers Blood 'Is on Their Hands', Colorado Springs Police Emphasize Using Correct Pronouns, Names of Club Q Shooting Victims, Disney Family Member Charlee Corra Comes Out Publicly as Transgender, Defends LGBTQ Rights for Kids, Beloved Trans Icon and Activist Mama Gloria Dies at 76: 'Forever in the Hearts of Many', Kim Petras on Finding Success After Being Told She'd 'Never Make It': 'Look at Me Now, Bitches! In my opinion, that is a sign of their deep shame about their behavior. In this talk, she reflects about the male privilege she once had and how she's being treated now as a woman. Prior to my transition, I was paralyzed by gender anxiety in my private and public interactions. I do feel lucky in that my transition was really smooth. To do anything less is to fail our children and the principles upon which this nation was founded. She is lives in Boulder, Colorado. Paul Williams, who led the conservative church planting organization Orchard Group for 20 years, has publicly come out as a transgender woman named Paula Stone Williams. It is because of our societys rejection of them, which results in internalized transphobia. Years passed and I met more transgender people, some of whom became best friends. Some books have hardly an unmarked page. Some struggles are obvious to all, but most are privately endured. It is a wonderful escape. However, what I can provide as a pastoral counselor is not what a person can gain from regular involvement in a religious community. Paula is one of the 50 #iconic #women featured in our 3rd #NFT edition. With everything in me, I hope Rilke is right. I was slowly killing myself within this facade of being this girl I never was. My other reading is of books with spines and covers and words on cream-colored pages. Last week my co-pastor Kristie and her fiancee Mara joined the Parasol Patrol, using opened rainbow umbrellas to protect children going to the Broomfield, Colorado Library for a story hour with drag queens. Please don't. "In the culture in which I lived, there was no way I could seriously think about acting on it," she writes. After working with 24 speakers last year, I keep thinking more and more about the subject of my next talk. I went to the folio show for magazine editors back when there were magazines and I worked for one, and the editor of Rolling Stonedelivered a keynote speech. I was told I'd get over it and regret it. The evangelical circles she'd dedicated her life to as a man rejected her as a trans woman. This is not a choice. I never really had a name for it until I was an adult. It is difficult living 24/7 with another human. As a child, when I first learned the concept of 'God' I would pray every night that I would wake up with a male body. I had known for most of my life that I was somewhere in the middle, and that I didn't fit with men or women. You might be surprised to hear this, but my list of examples of being treated misogynistically grows exponentially. To be alongside them at what has the potential to be one of the most important times of their lives is a great honor. I always wanted to be like Roy, but Ive never managed a book a week. Ill let you know how it turns out. Church attendance might be down, but the church will be just fine. I joined the service to find who I am, and in the most unexpected way, I did. I love that the church is the place that celebrates all of lifes comings and goings. Its been on my mind because I have the pleasure of coaching TEDxMileHigh speakers and I am always amazed at the breadth and depth of their talks. To be successful as a blind transgender woman, I have to be stronger. I have corrected the error that nature had made, but at the same time, I have condemned myself to living alone. Don't listen. I had wonderful text exchanges with my co-pastors, and with the chair of our church board. Books are reliable companions, keeping you connected to the spirit of the species. After her transition, she has struggled to come to terms with her voice. We were children, really. "I'm here to tell you: The differences are massive.". Because I wish more people had been visible when I was younger. Most put hearts of various colors next to their messages. I discovered that God didn't need to fix me. After More Than 20 Years as Conservative Leader, Paul Williams Comes Out as Transwoman, Conservative pastor, Paul Williams (L) formerly of the Orchard Group, transitioned into a transgender woman named Paula (R), New Jersey churches excluded from historic preservation grant sue county for discrimination, John Piper: 'If our only good news is our healing ministry, we're going to disappoint millions of people', Most adults in 17 countries say belief in God not necessary to be moral, have good values: study, Travel: Come for an old church, stay for the place, 5 reasons why prayer must accompany evangelism, What people use WhatsApp, Telegram for in Iran, Afghanistan might surprise you, Myth 18: Divorce is the unpardonable sin and 'God hates divorce', Evangelical woman: New immigration bill will increase human trafficking risk, The Messiah didnt endure crucifixion for nothing. In Basic Training the feminine feelings subsided. But, my mom lost a daughter to gain a second son. Its not just childrens rights that are being threatened. Yep, almost all of them are from evangelicals. My health insurance was cancelled. Rarely do we hear stories about people with disabilities declaring their own unique gender identity or sexuality. Yet even when he returned to his home and his beloved Penelope, he was called onto yet another journey, this time inland, a metaphor for the truth that the most important journey is the journey into the deeper regions of ones own soul. They are the most at risk group in the nation. I began to understand that I was transgender. And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not defrauded you. I had to get out. You cant learn everything you need from social media, friends, family, nature, or your lived experience. I felt that by not being out I was not only hurting my self but contributing to a culture of fear. Weve come a long way since I led a conversation with a group of megachurch pastors about ten years ago in which the pastors talked about making room within their congregations for transgender people. The Greek Poet Cavafy suggests that perhaps the goal of the journey is the journey itself. Sometimes people step up and take big risks for social justice, but there are an infinite number of moments when you can help out in the small ways. Conflict over womens roles in the family and the church is just one example of the fantasy bubble of evangelicalism. The acceptance received while transitioning on the job directly impacted my confidence and helped me find my voice. Now, having traveled that road myself, my heart aches for those still blinded by the false doctrine I once believed. On our anniversary we had a wonderful dinner together at our favorite restaurant. It is just a fact. "I am learning a lot about what it means to be a female, and I am learning a lot about my former gender," she says. Words cannot express my relief I finally found out there was someone out there just like me. When people step up and people treat each other like human beings and not some sort of scandal, things can go right and there can be a happy ending. The transgender community is extremely resilient, we have lived through some horrific shared experiences. The board members of the town in which I live were all encouraging one another to run for office again next year. My five granddaughters think I should do a talk about them you know like how extraordinary and brilliant they are and how remarkable that is, you know, given the fact that they carry my genetic material and all. Paula Stone Williams, 70, is a pastor, pastoral counselor and speaker. Protestors were shouting offensive slogans at the children and their parents. I had a pretty sterling reputation, but then I transitioned. Paula went on to attend Kentucky Christian University and, in her senior year, to marry the woman she loved, Cathy. We just happened to be his last clients on his last day. But the storm of my transition has left a road full of boulders and branches. You will be required to repay anything paid on her behalf between the date of the divorce decree and the date of the cancellation., Cathy called the next morning and told the administrator of health services that we are, in fact, very much married, and the administrator said, I know youre not because its all over the Internet. Cathy was aghast, Since when did the Internet become the arbiter of what is and what is not true?, The administrator wouldnt listen to Cathy. The married father of three was a prominent evangelical pastor before transitioning and recognized that transitioning would not be an easy process, personally or professionally. Maybe itll be a nice little reminder that yall shouldnt kills us because we make you laugh and all. Dr. Paula Stone Williams is an internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. But if I do that talk, then the whole world will know how old I am, and if you havent noticed, age discrimination is real. Paula has been featured in the New York Times, TEDWomen, TEDSummit, Red Table Talk, TEDxMileHigh, the Denver Post, National Public Radio, ABC, and many other media outlets. I've faced it all but the strength of just being who you are makes it all manageable. Nevertheless, neither one of us ever strayed, and we never contemplated splitting up. This is not uncommon for people like myself who never identified with the gender that they were assigned at birth. Cathy and I were committed to each other, and to the institution of marriage. But through the changes, some things remain. I became more driven to finish tasks and projects. People are still reading Homers Odyssey, all the works of William Shakespeare, and even the Apostle Johns stunningly mystical Book of Revelation. As I got older, my body developed at a young age and I remember and always feeling disconnected from it, resenting its betrayal in presenting me incorrectly. I keep thinking of the threat we are to society. I can avoid most of it. Corporations exist to benefit their shareholders. And his children say blessings on him as if he were dead. While I continue to speak on the ongoing fight for gender equity, I am offering a new talk on what is happening in America with the anti-transgender laws, rhetoric, and repression that are permeating our nation. Embracing my gender variance, I transitioned to female and opened a solo medical practice dedicated to the transgendered community. I didn't know I was a transgender female until around the early '70's while in the military. Everyone I know knows I'm a man and respects it. I have been bullied and been called terrible names, even though that has happened I don't let that change who I am. With lightning speed the #MeToo phenomenon has become a cultural turning point. One of my long-time friends who works for American Airlines made sure Cathy and I got out of town before a snowstorm so we could get to a long-awaited vacation in Hawaii. Gender is only learned environmentally. Scratch that idea. If its a really good book, I run out of blank pages in the back and switch to the semi-blank pages at the front. The Orchard Group board, staff and extended church planting family wish Paul and Cathy (his wife) God's best as they step into the future," the announcement said. With a lot of time and patience we both came to accept and understand each other. In many respects I led a satisfactory life up till the age of 58, but it was generally emotionally unsatisfying. The novels are eclectic, from Cormac McCarthy to Wendell Berry to Kelly Rimer. Evangelical men have mounted a campaign to take away my civil rights and declare me a non-person. I put the page number on the left side, and then a quote. This war with my gender identity has not been a swift or simple one. What did I learnthat Im me and through whatever quirk of biology, I was made this way. Enough is enough. It seems wise not to write another book until Im on the other side of that inflexion point. Most of those unsupportive parents are Evangelicals. She and others were part of a diverse program that included prayers, readings, blessings and hymns from interfaith leaders and . My perennial exile from employment is evidence of the near-clinical consequences of overt trans discrimination that eludes legal accountability. The church exists to do life and search for meaning together. My children have all but written me off, and Im hoping with time, things will progress. Now that the Dobbs decision has been handed down, we see America waking up to the outsize power these groups wield. "I thought one option would be for them to think to themselves, 'Oh, wow. Get a daily email featuring the latest talk, plus a quick mix of trending content. Itd be laughable, but its not. Worst of all was being called mh - a Hawaiian word - because I didn't know its meaning. Zealots have been creating enemies since the beginning of time, and they always choose enemies that are powerless minorities. I was teased and beat up on Jr. High for being different. The luminosity is because there is something holy and sacred about each human life, and the authenticity with which we live it. Genderqueer people like me are an important, but often overlooked, part of the transgender community. It is so foreign to anything I have known over the last ten years that it leaves me dumbfounded when people say with a straight face that God expects wives to submit to their husbands. I will always have the legacy of being the 1st MTF to transition on the job in my company! We will write the script as we live it. If you told me I was Transgender 5 years ago, I would have denied it. Unfortunately, no one told fundamentalists and evangelicals that, and through shrewd manipulation, they now hold great political power. When I transitioned, I saw a clear pathway forward for transgender people. I have friends, and an absolutely amazing girlfriend for support. In May, Paula and Cathy gathered with their family including five granddaughters who call Paula "Grampaula" to celebrate her 70th birthday in Hawaii. Dr. Paula Williams spent 13 years as the host of a national television show (viewed by millions) and served as the Chairman and CEO of The Orchard Group a non-profit organization that starts new churches in the US- for 34 years. I'd stop crying and come down and I'd preach and be really glad and say hi to everybody, and then I'd get home and go to sleep. Though I guess I shouldnt have been surprised. As imperfect as the world is today, as hard as it is to be transgender and live an authentic life, it was much worse, not so long ago. I buried my secret as deep as I could. Im not sure why that is true, but this time I made five pages worth of notes. [1] Williams came out as a transgender woman in December 2012. They said, The Bible speaks against homosexual behavior. While this is certainly not an exhaustive list, we continue to affirm the following: The inspiration and authority of the whole Bible (Old and New Testament) as the revelation of God by the Holy Spirit," the organization declaresin part on their website. Those are the books on which I take notes, copious amounts of notes, starting on the back inside cover and working my way inward. But not before I slipped into a deep depression that took me years to crawl out of. I find it lacking. Nicole likes Pentecost and the first weekend of October, when in the tradition of St. Francis, we bless everyones animals. "These convictions have been passed down by each generation of leaders. Over 300 anti-transgender bills are currently pending in over 35 states. Paul Williams, who led the conservative church planting organization Orchard Group for 20 years, has publicly come out as a transgender woman named Paula Stone Williams. Paula Williams at the CPR studios Wednesday Dec. 19 2018. If we havent been able to kill it in 2000 years, were certainly not going to be able to kill it now. Books are the legacy of our collective experience. At the age of 65, I knew I couldnt keep up the pretense much longer. Every step towards being female made me feel better than I had ever thought possible. But the storm of my transition has left a road full of boulders and branches. I was raised in a small town by loving parents and know before I was ten years old that I was different than the rest of my family and friends. When I was with guys I never fit in, when with women I always fit in. Schools exist to educate students. This weeks fiasco in the Arkansas Senate is only the latest example of the danger at hand. Being surrounded by the ocean reminds me of the eternal toing and froing of the tides. This week I have written about the specifics of that struggle. Awful, right? The protestors were calling those arriving for the story time pedophiles. After all of the laws and rhetoric of the last few months, its pretty hard to make me laugh about this subject. For most of her life, Paula Stone Williams . Meanwhile on the inside I was tormented with turmoil, why wouldn't this just go away? Paula Williams, 66, is 6-foot-3, with light brown ringlets, a soft voice and an affinity for phrases like, "Oh, my goodness." She is still married to Jonathan's mother, and they share a. I just did a speech on resilience last week. Raised by a deeply devoted evangelical family, Paula remembers moving from state to state as her pastor father found work in different churches. I've discovered who of my former life truly cares about me, and moreover, I've come to love myself. We have lived authentically and conscientiously, but there is pain and sorrow. stays there, inside the dishes and in the glasses, so that his children have to go far out into the world. However, I do care about their orthopraxy, how they practice the Christian faith. There was never a time in my life when I didnt look into a mirror and ask, If Im a girl, why am I a boy?. Becoming a psychiatrist and confronting mental and emotional suffering beckoned me to confront my own. My friends said they needed more people holding more umbrellas to protect the children. A transgender woman who is a mental health professional, clergy person, and former CEO, she brings powerful insight, poignant perspective, and solid guidance regarding this timely concern.